I like to think of my mind as an independent being, with a separate agenda, that I have no knowledge about. It has its way of playing games, taunting what I believe in, and what I think I know about myself. Sometimes it even makes up a story, she tells it patiently, with careful words, savoring every part of the tale, and she would include me in her rambles, she would take away my sight, and show me her tale:
The tail of the man that cleaned his pants
You first see him crossing the street with a luggage bag, he sees the bus before you, so while you are in your peaceful morning state, he is desperate to cross, even tho he clearly has time. He jogs towards you and he stops as he reaches the other side, and walks, still hurried, to your side. He mumbles, with a nod and a pressed lip smile, something in the area of ‘good morning’. You of course nod and give him a half smile, the one where you are smiling because you have to, but give the perfect amount of shy, and the right portion of tender, that you like to think makes you look sort of cute.
You still have a full 40 seconds to observe him while the bus gets to your stop. He reminds you of a male model you once knew, and of course flirted with, because lets face it, you like to think of it as a sport. That would have turned into something more if only you would have ignored the fact that he was married. You like to believe that you don’t mess with guys that are taken…not always the case, but you had great excuses for the few times it happened.
The bus arrives and before it stops, he is already making a move towards it, and notices how you start moving the moment that it stops, so he acts like a gentleman and pulls it off as some type of bow, signaling you to go first. You nod, smile and get in the bus. You’re walking towards your usual seat, right behind the priority seating, when you notice, your friend, (can you really call a friend if you have never talked to him?), fine your ‘morning companion’ , an Asian kid, going to school, (he reminds you of someone also, but that’s for another story) he is not on the bus this morning.
The model sits exactly in his place where you can observe him and stay unnoticed, but you get bored after a few seconds. You noticed that the bus is 3 minutes early. So you would make the 7.02 bus, with no issue, maybe the nice old man wont even have to wait for you to cross the street.
The nice driver, that you thought had left you just while you were crossing the street, the first day you were about to catch the bus. But he actually was waiting for you across the street with horns and everything, you just didn’t see, because you were too busy feeling terrible over how he had left you, and how he DID see you and MADE the conscious decision to leave you behind. And in your head you saw him stating how you should have taken an earlier bus, you saw his face as a mean, bitter old man. He did that to you and your cute face!!! How dared he?! That look had been perfected to get little things like this, or big things like saving your job, specially from men!!
The next day you were able to get on, after a brief dance, where you didn’t know if he wanted you to get on or not, as you crossed the street. And he did, not only that day, but the day before also, as you found out when you got on, he was actually waiting for you across the street, honking his horn, but you didn’t look back. In that moment you saw him for what he actually was a cute old man, like a Mexican version of Santa, with white short hair and beard. You felt so dumb, you usually never make these types of errors with other peoples character.
The model crossed his legs, which pulled you out of the daydream that I had permitted, and made you pay attention to him again, its amazing how the slightest things claim your attention. He did it like a man with his ankles almost on his knees. And that is when he did it… he started to take off something that had harden on his pants, near his shoes. Forty seconds later he took the same fingers and put them in his mouth, eating his nails and whatever was on his pants… At first of course, you were disgusted, that could have been anything! And then I asked, what would be the worst? you answered, ‘Well, there’s blood, feces…” I asked “who can truly say they have never eaten any of those? Plus aren’t we all made from the same stuff? Does it really matter enough to make a big reaction of disgust out of it?” And you understood my logic.
I know, I know… as only explanation I have been in my dark zone for a while…But I’m back and I would love to share:
For quite some time now, I have notice that I am a very sensitive person and I have this way, of understanding people that’s not common to most. I also have emotions and thoughts that didn’t seem normal to me, made me think I was crazy, well maybe I’m not. I found this article online that shed some light on my personality, and I think it will be a great way, to explain what I’ve been feeling most of my life… Hope you guys enjoy it, is it your case?
Picture ya later.
Empathy is the ability to read and understand people and be in-tune with or resonate with others, voluntarily or involuntarily of one’s empath capacity.
Empaths have the ability to scan another’s psyche for thoughts and feelings or for past, present, and future life occurrences. Many empaths are unaware of how this actually works, and have long accepted that they were sensitive to others.
Empaths Sense Deep Emotions
Empathy is a feeling of another’s true emotions to a point where an empath can relate to that person by sensing true feelings that run deeper than those portrayed on the surface. People commonly put on a show of expression. This is a learned trait of hiding authentic expression in an increasingly demanding society.
An empath can sense the truth behind the cover and will act compassionately to help that person express him/herself, thus making them feel at ease and not so desperately alone.
Empaths experience empathy towards family, children, friends, close associates, complete strangers, pets, plants and inanimate objects. Empathy is not held by time or space. Thus, an empath can feel the emotions of people and things at a distance. Some are empathic towards animals (ie: The Horse Whisperer), to nature, to the planetary system, to mechanical devices or to buildings etc. Others will have a combination of the above.
Empaths Have Deep Sense of Knowing
Empaths are highly sensitive. This is the term commonly used in describing one’s abilities (sensitivity) to another’s emotions and feelings. Empaths have a deep sense of knowing that accompanies empathy and are often compassionate, considerate, and understanding of others.
There are also varying levels of strength in empaths which may be related to the individualís awareness of self, understanding of the powers of empathy, and/or the acceptance or non-acceptance of empathy by those associated with them, including family and peers. Generally, those who are empathic grow up with these tendencies and do not learn about them until later in life.
Empathy is Inherited
Empathy is genetic, inherent in our DNA, and passed from generation to generation. It is studied both by traditional science and alternative healing practitioners.
Empathy has both biological/genetic and spiritual aspects.
Empaths often possess the ability to sense others on many different levels. From their position in observing what another is saying, feeling and thinking, they come to understand another. They can become very proficient at reading another personís body language and/or study intently the eye movements. While this in itself is not empathy, it is a side-shoot that comes from being observant of others. In a sense, empaths have a complete communication package.
How Empathy Works
While there is much we don’t yet understand about how empathy works, we do have some information. Everything has an energetic vibration or frequency and an empath is able to sense these vibrations and recognize even the subtlest changes undetectable to the naked eye or the five senses.
Words of expression hold an energetic pattern that originates from the speaker. They have a specific meaning particular to the speaker. Behind that expression is a power or force-field, better known as energy. For example, hate often brings about an intense feeling that immediately accompanies the word. The word hate becomes strengthened with the speaker’s feeling. It is that person’s feelings (energy) that are picked up by empaths, whether the words are spoken, thought or just felt without verbal or bodily expression.
Empaths are often poets in motion. They are the born writers, singers, and artists with a high degree of creativity and imagination. They are known for many talents as their interests are varied, broad and continual, loving, loyal and humorous. They often have interests in many cultures and view them with a broad-minded perspective. They are mother, father, child, friend, nurse, caregiver, teacher, doctor, sales people… to psychic, clairvoyant, healer, etc. (That is not to say that any of these categories are all empaths.) The list is extensive and really unimportant. It is more important to notice that empaths are everywhere–in every culture and throughout the world.
Empaths Are Good Listeners
Empaths are often very affectionate in personality and expression, great listeners and counselors (and not just in the professional area). They will find themselves helping others and often putting their own needs aside to do so. In the same breath, they can be much the opposite. They may be quiet, withdrawn from the outside world, loners, depressed, neurotic, life’s daydreamers, or even narcissistic.
They are most often passionate towards nature and respect its bountiful beauty. One will often find empaths enjoying the outdoors, beaches, walking, etc. Empaths may find themselves continually drawn to nature as a form of release. It is the opportune place to recapture their senses and gain a sense of peace in the hectic lives they may live. The time to get away from it all and unwind with nature becomes essential to the empath. Animals are often dear to the heart of empaths, not as a power object, but as a natural love. It is not uncommon for empaths to have more than one pet in their homes.
Traits of an Empath
Empaths are often quiet and can take a while to handle a compliment for they’re more inclined to point out another’s positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times, quite frankly in respect to themselves. They may have few problems talking about their feelings.
However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at blocking out others and that’s not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.
Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.
Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and will have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.
People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet! They are like beacons of light.
Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding.
Here are the listeners of life. Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one–if only for peace of mind.
I’ve been in a Woody Allen phase, I’ve been watching a lot of his work, and gotten to the conclusion that he is a genius, he takes everyday life and unites it with crazy situations, surreal, dramatic, light, complicated, comedy, beautiful writing… its all there…well this is how this begins:
And so the girl with a pathological case of too much passion and little consistence, had a terrible awakening. She saw the long lists of things she in one or two moments of her life, was passionate about. First on the list, was the time she decided she would save dogs and cats from the street by sending a letter to the Public Trustee in her small island. Getting the letter to him would be no issue, her dad knew the man in question, writing it? took 1 day, hand written of course, there was no computer at her house at the time. After the letter was ready, now here came the trouble, the girl decided the letter was useless, with all the problems in her country, was the man even going to consider the idea? This was enough for the girl to throw aside the project.
There was one occasion the girl saw, a documentary on global warming, and how so many wild life was disappearing every day. She cried terribly at what she as a human was doing to mother earth, by not doing anything. She was up most of the night planning how to let people know, that we had to help save the earth! It included walking streets and handing out pamphlets. Again the girl found, just the right excuses not to go throw with the idea, and they where of course very rational.
Like this the girl spent her days, thinking of doing things and not finding it in her to sometimes, even try. She did certain things, she ran away from others, she knitted, played volleyball, did two years of medicine, studied hospitality because she loved food, then noticed that she didn’t like it enough to commit to it either. She always noticed that she liked writing, movies, series, making things, creating, cooking, volleyball, and tons of other stuff, but they were never enough, for her to pursue.
One day she played around with a friends camera, and decided she will save up the money to get her own, and take pictures for fun, she didn’t want to admit that the moment she took those pictures on that sunny day at the botanical garden she had fallen for photography and there was no coming back. She was afraid of her self, of awakening her own traumas and leaving this aside too… she was afraid of her moments of incredible passion and then the following lack of interest. So began the transition from passion to consistency/passion… She started without noticing, to go through her first steps, as an artist:
Now that she decided to be a photographer and she couldn’t stop til she was the famous photographer, she dared to imagine, and she knew it would take time, experience, frustrations, knowledge, it came to her mind that the most logical thing to do was kill herself, while she was up…(Yes it is to my awareness that our character is crazy).
She started the crying by noticing how she didn’t live in the right place, she didn’t know the right people, she hadn’t started this pursuit early enough in life, she felt old in her 24 years of age, she found her pictures now, not good at all…she had so many of her excuses and knew that for the first time in her life none of them were enough to quit, to forget photography, there was no valid excuse, because the difference between her and all the other people who are top-photographers today, was that they gave it their all… the best way they knew how and they put their vision out there.
Pulling her self together took time and like all with this complicated girl who does not have a definite answer for anything and for whom there are always excuses worth forgiving for, it was ups and downs… til she made The Plan… Find a job, but most importantly, Take Photography Classes.
Picture-ya later! Here are some more photos:
If you can picture your past into photo moments, which would be the moments to open up when things get blue? Funny moments, emotional moments… moments that make us laugh, cry… feel.
We remember those precise moments that make us who we are today, who we will be in the future, those long seconds of laughter, frustration, helplessness, empowerment, self-discovery. If you can only take a picture of your mind, of those instances where its just pure, self-innovation, self growth.
I notice I have come a long way, I have grown, faster than thought, passed so many lessons, its hard to keep track of all. I survived half the search. Its time to do something with it, make things incredible, things memorable, worth going back too, in our rush towards the future.
Krizia Nallely Almonte Ubiera
Guilty as charged!! In my defense, I have taken pictures, I just haven’t post-production them… (Can I say that?), some deal with lemons and oregano…dunno, I have decided that if some peoples art is bloody noses, and they are proud of it, I should be proud of mine too, whatever phase I’m going through… Seems very brave on writing… feel like shooting…
Picture ya later…